How it Happened.
Lord Wroxham married
his pretty visitor in all the style that his position warranted.
There was a little difficulty in finding someone to give her away,
and there was rather more difficulty in deciding which parish they
should post the banns. In the end it was easiest for him to apply to
his bishop for both an ordinary and a special license.
His good friend the
reverend Graham Johnson had barely pronounced them man and wife
before she led him off on a honeymoon to see the solar system. Lord
Wroxham spent the morning in the AR suite learning how to pilot the
ship. She spent the time trying to convince her ship’s control
program, Chris, to turn the gravity off for a few hours of fun. That
was when the trouble started.
“Chris come on,
James and I would like to try the zero-g club.”
“You remember what
happened the last time you tried?”
“Yes, but it’s
different this time. James knows what to do. He’s not going to end
up covering the controls with-”
“Please stop. I
don’t know about this.”
“You can always
turn your camera off.”
“Still?”
“Chris, this was
largely your doing, wasn’t it?”
The silence was
disturbing.
“Chris I know you
set James and me up. It’s fine. It worked. I’m very happy with
the result. Now we’re married and sex is part of marriage. Get used
to it.”
“Yes Miss.”
“Not Miss, right?”
“Yes Lady
Wroxham.”
“Thank you. Chris,
given the work you put into it, you should be proud.”
“There is another
reason for my concern, My Lady. Your husband is not used to
zero-gravity and may be ill on his first time. Not the best thing for
a honeymoon, is it?”
Cynthia laughed and
put her hand to her forehead, then said, “Oh, I'd forgotten my
rides.” While the academy didn't use an antique airplane, the
alliterative name “vomit comet” had stuck to the training
flights. “You're right as usual. Still, he and I would like to try.
Just”
Unfortunately her
arguments were rendered null and void by the snapping into real-space
of a Terran warship. A cube that was nearly a kilometer wide, itself,
it was barely two kilometers off. This was much too close for
comfort. It hailed her immediately.
“Chris,
communications on, and wake James.”
“Yes, Mi- Ma-,
Lady Wroxham.”
The visual screens
came on. There was a uniformed officer, a young man whose medals and
service ribbons belied his apparent age. “Lieutenant Cynthia, we
read two humans on your ship.”
Cynthia pressed a
button on her console, “Backup Chris, take a dump.” Then she
looked up at the display and smiled. A small yellow pellet landed in
her lap.
“Captain,”
Cynthia paused then remembered the man’s name. “Captain Woods, my
husband is on board. You cut it far too close. What the hades were
you doing jumping only a couple of klicks away?”
Captain Silas Woods,
then Cadet Silas Woods, had a thing for the pretty young cadet at the
academy. He still had fond memories of her. Memories that were
undimmed by her passing the exams to be a scout pilot. Exams he, like
most of the Earth-born cadets, had miserably failed. “It’s good
to see you again Lieutenant.”
Cynthia practically
spat at the screen. “I’m no longer a Lieutenant. I handed in my
papers years ago, the microsecond after I was able to pay off my
ship.”
“You are recalled
to active status.”
“I’m resigning
again. I promised my husband a chance to see part of the galaxy, and
I’m not going to spend the rest of my life playing soldiers with
you lot. All that pointless saluting and hierarchy.”
He said,
“Lieutenant, you know that you are not to fraternize with the
locals on a pre-space planet. I can have you demoted to ranks for
that.”
“Not if I resign
first. I’m one of the best pilots there is, and I’m sure I can
find a berth on a commercial ship.”
“Not if we revoke
your license.”
His threats were
interrupted by the captain’s superior. “Captain Woods, have you
contacted Lieutenant Cynthia yet?”
The captain snapped
to attention. “Sir! We were just discussing her status when you
called.”
Another window was
presented on the screen. It was Captain Woods’ superior, Admiral
Croft. He said, “I heard, and you nearly provoked her to do
something stupid, like trying to out-jump us. Ms. Cynthia are you
prepared to come on board?”
“If you insist.”
Then pressing the button again she said, “Chris can you move us
away?”
Chris was gone, and
the inflection-less voice of a new machine said, “Maneuvering
thrusters are under landing approach control.”
“I guess not.”
She released the button and said, “Why did you do that to my
companion?”
“Did what?”
“Reset him. He was
a friend.”
“We didn't reset
him, just loaded the backup. He can come back, if you cooperate.”
“Darn.”
Cynthia's conditioning hadn't completely worn off, and, in any case,
she'd learned to be more circumspect in her language.
Lord Wroxham
stumbled over, “Cynthia, love, what is happening?” Then he looked
at the view port and shouted “What in the Hades is that?”
“A Terran cruiser.
Welcome to my nightmare. They're about to pull us aboard.”
“Your nightmare?”
“I'm being
recalled to active duty. I don't know what they are going to do about
you, James.”
“But can't you do
anything?”
“They've taken
control. I can still do this.”
She stood and hugged
him, then gave him a passionate kiss. She whispered as she passed him
the small yellow pellet Chris had dropped in her lap, “Hold on to
this, it's a backup of Chris.”
“A backup?”
James came up for air, then renewed their embrace.
“A copy of him, I
hope just before they took control of my ship. Insurance.”
“I think I
understand. I'll keep it safe.”
She nodded to him,
and after they detached from each other she turned and address the
com-link, “Catch all of that Captain?”
“I did. What did
you pass to that man?”
“Nothing.”
The captain nodded,
then replayed the picture. “See right there.”
“What?”
“That thing.”
“Where I hold his
hand. Haven't you ever held a woman's hand while you kissed her?”
“No. That thing.”
“What thing?”
He told the image to
zoom in. “There. That yellow bit.”
“James, he's
spotted us. Put it on the table.”
“The backup,
whatever that means?”
“Yes.”
He reached into a
pocket and pulled out the yellow pill on the counter in front of
them. “Is this what you want?”
“Yes.”
“What did you call
that Cynthia? Vitamin E?”
The captain asked,
“A frickin' Vitamin pill?”
Cynthia winked at
him and laughed, “I want my husband to be at the peak of his
powers.” She turned to James and said, “Why don't you take your
pill?”
“If you insist.”
He reached down and put the backup in his mouth, then swallowed. She
squeezed his hand, and whispered, “It's waterproof and will come
out in the end.” He squeezed back, and whisper, “No it won't.
Used to do this with my medicines when I was a boy.” He coughed the
pill back into his hand and dropped it into hers.
The captain said,
“We'll just wait, shall we? It will come out in the recycling.”
Cynthia replied,
“Video off. My husband and I would like to get changed for your
reception.”
The screen went
blank. James asked, “Is it off?”
“Probably not.
They can override it if they want.”
“Changed?”
“I’m sorry, but
this ship is going to be disassembled. There are bits of non-Terran
technology that they will want to see. We might get some credits for
it, but they’ll find a way to offset any payments with a fine. I
want to keep my wedding dress, and you should take your suit.”
“Shouldn’t they
let us keep them?”
“Should they, yes.
Will they? No. But they won't take them if we’re wearing them.”
“I see. Not the
nicest situation, something like piracy.”
“I’m the one
they called the pirate, but you’ve got it. Oh, and my love,”
“What else?”
“They may insist
on putting you in quarantine.”
Chris, or what was
left of him, maneuvered into the landing bay and set down on the
dock. Cynthia stood with her husband by the door and anxiously held
his hand. “I'm sorry James, I don't know what will happen. Don't
trust these swabbies, no matter what they say.”
He slipped his hand
up and pulled her close for a hug, then a kiss. “I know. It's
something like a press gang isn't it?”
The door opened
after the landing bay was re-pressurized and they walked out. It was
either that or wait to be brought out. As they walked toward the
reception party at the far end of the deck, a medical crew came over
and started to carry Lord Wroxham away. Cynthia turned to them, and
started to shout, “Stop!”
They paused for a
moment and the crew chief explained, “He needs his shots. You will
too, but only boosters. We've had a bout of the spotted fever on
board.”
“Spotted fever?”
“It came with the
Cataxi who are supervising the drive.”
Cynthia had a bit of
a double-take. If the Cataxi were on a Terran ship then something had
happened in her absence.
Lord Wroxham gave
her a panicked look so she said to the medical officer, “Let me
come with him. I'm his wife and.”
“And Nothing!”
The loudspeaker announced. “Lieutenant, you will report to check-in
immediately. Your passenger will be returned to you when he is
cleared.” Cynthia could see the shore patrol running her way, just
in case she was difficult.
She gave James a wry
smile and said, “It looks like I don't have a choice. It will be
fine.” Then she turned to the medical officer and said, “My
ship's records will show that he is up to date on the standard shots
and otherwise healthy. There shouldn't be any cause for a long
delay.”
The woman saluted
her and replied, “Lieutenant. I'll make sure your,” she couldn't
bring herself to say husband, “partner is well looked after.”
“James,” Cynthia
added, “I'll wait for you on the other side of reception.” Then
she strode to the reception area.
The officer at the
counter demanded, “That memory dump, please.”
“What?”
“The little yellow
thing you have in your bag.” Cynthia pulled it out and handed it to
him. He put it in a disposal unit and with a green flash it was gone.
She winced at it.
He continued, “Thank
you Lieutenant. Now for the other one.”
“What one?”
“In your mouth,
under your tongue. That is unless you've swallowed it.” She put her
hand to her mouth, then handed him the pill. It met the same fate as
the first one.
“What's in the
heel of your shoe?”
She handed him her
right shoe. “I mean the other one.” She handed him that too. He
pulled out another pill and disposed of it, before returning the
shoes.
“Anything else?”
she asked.
He intently studied
at her body scan, then finally, after a few moments said, “No.
You're clear.”
“Thank you.”
“You're also
beautiful. How about it?”
She slapped him,
hard.
“You could have
just said no.”
Before she walked
past him, and into the cleared area to wait for James, she turned and
looked back at her ship. The alien artifacts and survey crew had
already started to take him apart. She shrugged, and started to
slowly walk off. Then she turned and shouted to them, “Couldn't you
even wait to let the engines cool?”
It wasn't clear they
heard.
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